Dear Kyla: A Letter of Forgiveness

Dear Kyla,

I FORGIVE you for HOLDING ON: holding on to things, guilt, stress, people, trauma, relationships, and everything in between that no longer serve you in any way. 

I FORGIVE you for being so HARD ON YOURSELF. You have always pushed yourself to be better than you were the day before or the year before, but this past year you've really understood the importance of self-care and balance in all things.

I FORGIVE you for sometimes going down the rabbit hole of COMPARE and DESPAIR mode. Going off FB/Instagram for 6 months was truly liberating, wasn't it? Now let's figure out a way to work on comparing yourself WITH yourself even more--it's the only fair comparison, right?

I FORGIVE you for feeling IMPATIENT when you talk to mom and she asks, "How are the kids?" (Referring to the grandkids you don't have yet.) Really she is trying her best to make conversation in the way she knows how given her own parameters of dementia.

I FORGIVE you for not being in touch with dad as much as you would like to. You always value his advice and his stories from his own past. He always tries his best to carry the phone conversation even though he is naturally quite introverted.

I FORGIVE you for unleashing "Ugly Olga" on hubby when we get into more heated discussions on things or when PMS-ing. You know he's just trying to understand you so he can provide a solution--MIT style.

Most of all, I FORGIVE you for being HUMAN. Everything you label: FEAR, DESPAIR, SADNESS, ANGER, GUILT, SELF-DOUBT (I could keep going, as you know!)...everything is disguised as opportunities for you to learn and grow into YOU--the 2020 YOU. The YOU you see clearly.

I LOVE you, Kyla. And I FORGIVE you.

Love,
​Kyla