Your Voice Matters

WITH Mrs. H. after our Interview for the Book | Park Hyatt Seoul | January 2018

WITH Mrs. H. and the book | Yeoksam Shilla Stay, Seoul | February 2019

MY THROAT CHAKRA
"All of your chakras are open and look great, except your throat chakra," Chris said without judgment. Chris is a good friend of mine who is deeply spiritual and hails from South Africa.

Up until quite recently, I didn't really know or care to know what my chakras were and why it mattered to have them aligned and balanced. Chris' comment stayed WITH me though. 

LOSING MY VOICE
In high school, my sophomore year I had tonsillitis. Except it was misdiagnosed by western doctors as strep throat. They would give me medicine, the pain would go away for a week and then stubbornly return. Then one day, my mom recommended that I take ginseng root in the morning and night for a week. She would diligently boil it for me and I would reluctantly gulp it down. I rolled my teenaged angsty eyes at her, but after the pain did not return, I was pleasantly surprised. It has since never come back and I still drink boiled ginseng root whenever I feel a sore throat coming on. Thanks mom.

PEOPLE PLEASING
I would have to say that I spent most of my life telling people what they wanted to hear. I got so good at it that it replaced my own true voice. At home, my parents would often argue with each other, and my sister was rather outspoken, so my own voice was often drowned out. I also desperately wanted to be the peace maker in our family, and for a while there, I thought I was doing a good job at it. 

FINDING MY VOICE
At a workshop in Belgium last December, surrounded by awesome women from the Professional Women's International Network, I shared a story of how I found my voice. In fact, that was the title of my workshop. I looked up at the sea of women's faces, not fearing judgment, and spoke my truth. There is something to be said about how much you grow when you share your truth WITH others.

STEPPING INTO YOUR POWER
"I am really happy to see your sister stepping into her power more, since she has always been a people pleaser," Chris told my sister. Another Chris, and another comment that stayed WITH me. This time, it was my sister's husband, my brother-in-law. He was referring to my book that I had gifted them this past Christmas. 340 pages of my own voice. I had never thought about it that way. Whenever I write, it's because there is something that needs to come out of me, something brewing, and it needs to be shared.

YOU CAN NEVER SHRINK BACK DOWN
On a call with my spiritual coach Szilvia, these are the words she gleefully exclaimed, "Kyla, you can never shrink back down." She was ecstatic that I had published both English and Korean versions of my book, and she had also coached me through some extreme anxiety right before I launched them into the world. This time though she was talking about all of my spiritual growth that I had not only done on myself WITH myself and WITH her, but that I had added to the universe WITH my book. Whoa.

THE NOT-SO-EASY SIDE OF IT
At a long overdue lunch and catch up last week, I met up with a good coach friend of mine. I had to share some stuff that had been brewing inside of me. I had assumed things about her, gotten really upset about it, and realized all along it had to do with my own insecurities. She listened kindly and compassionately without judgment, and we realized we were on the same page. Later she pulled out my book, had me sign it, and said, "Because of you, and all that you have done, I know what is possible for me." Oh and our friendship has deepened about tenfold. 

HANGING OUT WITH MRS.H.
Those of you who have read the book, will know whom I am referring to. Mrs. H. has been a mentor/friend of mine for many years. We first met in the Bay Area when she hired me to be a tutor for her after school program in Walnut Creek. She was in Korea last week for a visit, so we got to catch up. "You are becoming super famous! Oh my gosh..." she gushed looking at me like a proud mother would. We caught up on life and everything in between and then she asked why I haven't had kids yet. I responded, "Well, I've always been so focused on my career." Mrs. H. then said, "There is no higher career than motherhood." Whoa.

Later on that evening, she texted me after having read her interview I included in the book: "Kyla, I cried! I feel like you said what I want to say to the world!" 

There it was. Sometimes when you find your own voice, you inspire other people to find theirs (my dad is working on writing a book about his life!), but you also give voice to people who perhaps didn't know they had it in them.

*Dedicated to + Inspired by all of those voices out there in the world that are just dying to come out*